Intentional Meal Planning: the Vision

Do you meal plan? I didn't for a long time. It sounded too difficult, time consuming, and honestly a little boring.  My plan was this notebook above, completely blank.

Since our move to North Carolina last August, I've found meal planning to be really helpful. One of our family goals with our move was to eat dinner together as a family around our table, something we hadn't been doing very often before. If we were going to eat at home, that meant I was responsible for getting dinner on the table! After a few nights of staring at my fridge wondering what on earth to cook, I realized meal planning was the way to go. With a great deal of trial and error, I have found a system that generally works for our family.

I did a quick Instagram poll over the weekend, wondering if you all would be interested in this, and I got so many questions! In fact, what began as one post has now turned in to a whole series on intentional meal planning. I'm so excited to write about this and I hope sharing with you all will be helpful. I want to hear your questions: comment and tell me what you’d like to know about meal planning!

Casting a Vision

Before we jump into how I meal plan, I want to give you the why. It can be easy to run through our weeks, months, and years without really considering why we do what we do. One day we are parenting toddlers, and the next our children go off to college (or so I’m told! I’m still waiting for that one!). As my Grammy and Mom remind me, the days are long but the years are short. I know I don’t want to miss what is most important with my children, and I imagine you don’t either. Think about meal planning within the greater ideal of family mealtime. We all hope for meals around the table with the ones we love, and meal planning is one vehicle that drives us to that goal.

I sometimes hear anecdotal claims about the value of family mealtime, but does it actually carry significance?  It does in fact, carry a lot of significance, beginning with God's view on family mealtime. 

In Deuteronomy, Moses speaks the greatest commandment to love God to the whole tribe of Israel, and then follows it with this: “And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.” (Deuteronomy 6: 6-7). Moses very specifically instructs parents to pass down these ideals to their children, including when you “sit in your house.” In our home, we are most likely to be sitting around the dinner table (or the television-being honest here!). What does this mean for you and I? It means that God wants us to gather our children around the table and teach them about Him. Our primary objective as parents is to point our children to Jesus, and one of the best ways to do this is around our dinner table. When I meal plan, I am calmer at dinner and more ready to talk to my children, instead of feeling frazzled and rushed, throwing fast food into the backseat while we drive to soccer. As we work through this series on meal planning, always keep this ideal in mind. You aren’t meal planning to be super mom or to look good to others or even to save money. You are meal planning to point your children to Jesus.

Let’s jump forward a little now and look at scientific reasons for family mealtime. This issue has been frequently studied, and the research is quite illuminating. The familydinnerproject.org states “Over the past 15 years researchers have confirmed what parents have known for a long time: sharing a family meal is good for the spirit, the brain and the health of all family members.” Goodnet.org lists nine scientifically proven reasons to eat dinner as a family, including better family relationships, healthier food choices, and stress relief. PsychologyToday takes it a step further citing “a study done by The National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse revealed that teens who eat fewer than three family dinners per week compared to those who eat five to seven a week are twice as likely to use alcohol and tobacco and one and a half times more likely to use marijuana.” I don’t know about you, but I hope my children will grow to be happy, healthy, drug-free teenagers. If meal times together around the table can lower their risk, I am willing to do a little meal planning to make it happen.

Personally, for our family meal planning has given us time together, a less stressful week, and money saved. We rarely go out to eat and instead are really enjoying our nights at home together. Had you told me this six months ago, I would have been so surprised! Friends, this can be done and I’m excited to share my tips with you!

Before you go any further, think about your own why. Often the greater reason behind a task will change it from a chore to a privilege.

Up next: Part 2- Set Yourself Up for Success. I’ll walk you through our budget, pantry, and meal planning essentials.

Storing and Displaying Children's Books

My house is overrun with books. I don't just mean one here or there, but truly, they are spilling over in our bedrooms, living room, playroom, and even in the car. When I clean our house, half the battle is putting books away.

This is entirely my fault. When I make my own birthday list or ask for gifts for our kids, my requests are primarily books. Every grandparent sends at least one book per child at every birthday and Christmas. My mom started a monthly "Nana's Book Club" at my suggestion. I spend all my extra dollars on books for myself.

(My First Colors, Colors, Alfie and Bet's ABC, Colors, The Little Engine That Could, When God Made You, Rufus Loses His Cape, ABC Color, Good Night, I Love You, Ten Tiny Toes, Lilly's Purple Plastic Purse, Tap the Magic Tree, Baby's Slide and See Zoo)

It should come as no surprise that books dominate our home's shelves and floors and tables and closets.  I've tried many different ways of storing them through the years, but always struggled to find enough room for our growing collection. I weed out books occasionally, but how do you give away a book?! Even Marie Kondo has to admit that books spark joy.

Our new-to-us home here in North Carolina finally seems to have met my challenge for a book-friendly house. We have built-ins in our bedroom, living room, and office, plus I've added more shelves in our formal living-room-turned-library.

Today I have a few tips for you on storing and displaying your books. It can be a challenge to know where to put all those beloved books, so I hope this helps!

(Beverly Cleary set, Nancy Clancy, Magic Tree House Series, Wellie Wishers series, Billy and the Mini Monsters, Sugar Creek Gang series, Christian Heroes: Then & Now series)

Keep Like Books With Like

Tell me I'm not the only one who has promised a book to a friend, only to search my whole house and come up empty. I store books all over my home, and with so many places to look it can be difficult to find a specific book. With our move last summer, I decided to generally store similar types of books together. For me, this means adult books on our bedroom shelves, books about our careers (in our case engineering and counseling) in the office, and children's books in the library/playroom. I also try to use each shelf for a theme, like parenting, or fiction, or elementary chapter books, so that my kids or I can look in one spot for similar types of books. I don't stick to this rule religiously, but I have found it makes finding books easier!

Print is a card from Gracelaced, succulent is from Target, bowl is old from Crate & Barrel

(The Lifegiving Home, Missional Motherhood, The Mission of Motherhood, A Simplified Life, Heartfelt Discipline, The Read-Aloud Family, Open Hands Willing Hearts [pre-release copy], Where'd You Go, Bernadette?, Cultivate, Romancing Your Child's Heart, Desperate)

Decorate With Books

Books are my favorite accessory for my home. They are beautiful, colorful, and useful- the perfect way to fill shelf space. To begin, I usually grab a stack of books that match my color scheme or are just really pretty. Sometimes I'll grab books by a similar theme, but often I simply choose books I love. I find candles, fake plants, and framed art go well with books if you are looking to style a shelf in your home.

Make Reading Easy

My children and I read more when we can grab a book easily and quickly. For this reason, I usually keep a stack of books on our coffee table and end tables. I'll often scatter library books around the house for anyone to pick up and read.

I also have a dedicated space in my children's rooms for a few books. This doesn't have to be fancy, just a spot where they can enjoy a book when they're in the bedrooms. For Theia (15 months), I have a couple Indestructibles books I keep near her crib and I hand her one at nap time. I especially love these because she can't ruin them. Trust me, board books get SO MUCH LOVE in a crib! For Tessa (4) I cleared a shelf in her closet's built-ins for a few books. She often wanders up to her room with books, so to clean up at bedtime I have her fill the shelf, then return any extras back to the playroom. For Eli (7), I have a stack on his nightstand and a "bookshelf" balanced between his bedpost and spare mattress at the foot of his bed. Remember, form over function! The goal is for our kids to be reading, not for it to look perfect.

Store Books Within Reach

While I do love keeping books all around my house, I find having most of our children's books in one specific spot is the best option for true book storage. We converted our front room into a library, so it has a couch, two bookshelves, Eli's homework desk, a reading chair, and the Lego table (it opens right into the playroom). These bookshelves are the primary home for all our children's books.

When I store the books, I do it so that each child has access to age-appropriate books. This means board books on the bottom shelves, picture books next, then chapter books on the higher shelves. I want my kids to walk or crawl right up to the books that are at their current reading level.

(Toys: Hippo was a gift, Block Train is from Crate & Kids
Books: Tap the Magic Tree, Billie B Brown series, A Picnic with Monet, Not Quite Narwhal, Who Sang the First Song?, Tiny Town, Where's the Unicorn?, the Dot, That's Me Loving You)

Display Books for Your Children

I've hear from many different sources recently that kids respond better to books with covers facing out than to a stocked shelf with the spines facing out. I've tried this myself and found it to be true. With my move to consolidate books to certain locations in our home, the bookshelf in the playroom was freed up for my to try this idea. I've begun displaying a few selected books face-out for my kids to explore. I change out the books every few days, giving them a chance to finally read our library of children's books. It's also a fun way to focus on a particular theme, season, or holiday by choosing specific books. Plus, this gives me a chance to read-aloud something other than Curious George every. single. day.


How do you display your books? Do you have any tips or tricks?

Hidden Days of Motherhood

Has anyone else been sick for days and days? We haven't been able to kick this round of sickness for a couple of weeks now. All five of us have gone down, and I'm the final casualty. Today I can barely talk, which doesn't work well when I have to keep little people alive. 

I find that sickness pulls me back toward home, into a reflective mood and quiet days. The busyness of life gives way to unexpected days at home and cancelled plans. This has felt really lonely. It has also been much-needed. 

I was talking with my sister and a close friend last week about how difficult motherhood can be. I often feel unseen and unimportant. I feel constantly frustrated with the complaints and needs of my children. I know in my head that being home with my children matters, but in the everyday diaper changes, nose wipes, and time-outs, it often doesn't feel that way. In both conversations, my sister and friend reminded me that seasons of quiet, unnoticed work matter to God. My sister pointed me toward God's name "El Roi" which means the God who sees me. (I've been diving deep into this name of God and have so much more to say about it soon.)

In the hidden days of motherhood, isn't it a gift that God sees us? Our long days don't go unnoticed to him. He celebrates or victories and draws us near when there are tears. I hope today you can grab hold of the comforting presence of God in your smallest, dirtiest, loudest moments.

IF:Gathering 2019 Notes

I spent this weekend in Dallas at IF:Gathering. IF is a conference for women, by women, to point to Jesus and teach women to disciple their generation. I have loved IF and it's founder, Jennie Allen, for a long time, and so attending the conference in person was extra special. I also got to spend a couple of days with my wonderful cousin in Dallas! I came away filled, encouraged, challenged, and inspired. 

As I sort through my notes today, I wanted to share a little of what I learned and what I'm most excited about. The conference focused on Proverbs this year, so I learned a lot of practical wisdom. My notes usually look more like bullet points, so that's how I'll share here. BONUS for you: if you click here you can watch IF:Gathering online!

• Proverbs 1:7 says "The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and instruction." Is it possible that we have learned a lot of things about God but we have not feared or truly known Him? This fear of God is not the end, though. The end is love. (1 John 4:18) Jesus drove out the fear with his love. (1 John 4:9-10) Live in His love and let His love live in us. {Jennie Allen}
• "God has only ever used ordinary people to do extraordinary things." Christine Caine
• "The creation of small outposts of truth and beauty will change the world." Curt Thompson
• "Jesus I give all to you, not half my heart but all." Jill Briscoe
• Wisdom and instruction are wrapped in deep relationship. Jefferson Bethke

So what did I learn? I learned that I must absolutely be grounded in God's word. Time with him is what changes me and what keeps me near Him. I learned that God's call for me (and for all of us) is to point people to Jesus. This happens through deep, intentional discipleship relationships where we learn and grow through quality time and honest communication. I learned that God is asking me to keep going forward, to keep fighting for Him, even when it feels incredibly difficult. And I learned that Jesus not only loves me, but he also likes me.

This quite seriously only scratches the surface. I wish I could tell each one of you all the things. Go watch IF! And tell me, what is God teaching you?

IF also sent all the attendees home with Jennie Allen's new study on 1 Corinthians. (It's currently available for pre-order on Amazon.) I am so excited about it and plan to do it with a friend! If you're looking for a good study, try it out. Plus, there are videos on Right Now Media to go along with the book.

Utilizing Your Local Library

Since moving to North Carolina, our local library has become a staple in our week. We attend story time, check out books, enjoy the coffee shop across the street, and play at the nearby park on nice days. I have become so deeply grateful for the friendly faces at our library now that we live somewhere new. Even on my loneliest weeks, I know I can look forward to library day.

As I've talked with other mamas, many have mentioned that they wished the utilized their local library but struggle to do so. Often when you didn't grow up going to the library or haven't gone much with your kids, it can be a challenge to know how to incorporate library days into your life. Here are a few tips to bring your local library into your weekly life:

Find a Story Time You Love

I've got to be honest, over the years we have attended some truly terrible story times. There was the one with the super mean librarian, and the one with the young librarian whose low cut shirt and peppy songs made her a bit too, umm, bouncy. And then there are ones with so many children you can barely see what's happening. But if you can find a good librarian, story time is magic. Ask around to find out who the best librarian is, or the best story time, and then go. It might take a few tries to find the right one, but once you do, it will be worth it.

Don't Be Embarrassed by Your Kids

Friends, my kids are the loudest, most obnoxious children at the library. They yell, scream, sing, dance, and cry. It's like they save their worst for the quiet library. Here's the thing though: the librarians are glad you are there. They want your kids at the library and welcome their joy. While I recommend sticking to the children's area with your loud kids, don't stay home because of noise. I'd also encourage you to use it as a chance to teach your kids how to behave inside. Repeated, gentle training yields results. It's just the eternal challenge of being patient as you get there!

Use Holds

Holds have literally changed the way I use my library. I used to get so frustrated because I could never find the books I needed. Or I'd try to run through the adult fiction section with my super loud kids, so distracted I couldn't find a book. Now, I do the legwork at home and simply pick up my books from the holds shelf!

Most libraries now have an app or website you can use. Figure out your login and password (you can ask a librarian for help!) and then search for books from your phone or computer. You can request books right from the website and choose which branch you'd like the holds to be delivered to. Once they arrive you'll get an email, and usually the hold is there for about 3-5 days. The best part? It's not just adult books on the holds list. You can request picture books too! We'll often request a favorite book or a new book in a series. I also will sit down with Eli and let him choose a few chapter books to put on hold.

Set Return Reminders on Your Phone

Ya'll, library fines are no joke. Our new library only does a 2 week check out, so I'm always worried about racking up fines. Stick a reminder on your phone when you check out the books so you won't get caught with too many fines. I also like to get a print-out receipt with all the books I checked out and hang it on my fridge. When it's time to return books, I mark off books one by one as I put them in my library bag to be sure I don't forget anything.

Go With a Friend

Story time is a fantastic way to have a play date! Go with a friend and let your kids enjoy story time together, then walk to a park nearby or play in the library's play area if yours has one. I know that some kids struggle to sit still, but don't feel bad about that. Just do your best and enjoy friends and books!

As you begin to use your local library, here are a few resources to help you find great books:

-- Read for the Heart by Sarah Clarkson- "From timeless classics to modern favorites, from picture books to adventure novels to read-aloud favorites, more than 1,000 wonderful stories for young people are recommended within these pages." (from Amazon)
-- Honey for a Child's Heart by Gladys Hunt- "A modern classic with over 250,000 copies sold, Honey for a Child's Heart is a compelling, essential guide for parents who want to find the best books for their children ages 0–12." (from Amazon)
-- The Read-Aloud Family by Sarah Mackenzie- "From a toddler’s wonder to a teenager’s resistance, Sarah details practical strategies to make reading aloud a meaningful family ritual." (from Amazon)
-- The Read-Aloud Revival Website and Podcast- a fantastic resource full of good books and tips for reading aloud

How do you use your local library? What tips can you offer to other moms?