Tuesday, July 24, 2018

I Am Afraid of Myself

I am afraid of myself on my darkest days.
And even sometimes on my good days too.

I am afraid of facing my real life.
I sleep instead of finding time for what mattes.

I am afraid of losing my temper with my kids.
I scroll through my phone rather than engaging in play.

I am afraid of my post-three-pregnancies body.
I dress is stretchy pants and flowy shirts to hide my supposed flaws.

I am afraid to fail.
I eat dessert to avoid facing the challenge of a healthy lifestyle.

I am afraid of who I have become.
I put on makeup each day to cover deep fears and flaws.

I am afraid of my potential.
I make excuses rather than pursuing my dreams.

I am afraid of myself.
I choose silence over speaking out.

And yet.

I find courage in Jesus.
I spend time in worship, prayer, and Scripture.

I find courage in community.
I make time for deep and honest friendships.

I find courage in the women around me.
I watch others speak out and begin to use my voice.

I find courage in myself.
I push through the struggle to the strength I have inside.

I discover that at the end of it all, my fear is eclipsed by courage.


  1. Melanie thank you for your honesty and openness to share with other women and most of all thank you for sharing where your help comes from! Love you and your heart! Vickie Leese

    1. Thank you, Vickie! I always appreciate your encouragement!

  2. This resonates with me deeply. You are incredible! - Laura

    1. Thank you so much! I'm so glad it resonated with you as much as it did with me.