Tuesday, November 27, 2018

The Quiet Places

I often find myself thinking about different topics to write about, and then I sit down to my computer and I forget them all. Motherhood feels like someone put my brain into a washing machine on the spin cycle and forgot to turn it off. I can never quite remember everything, or even most things. I spend my days doing everything and nothing. It's exhausting and I often feel like I don't see any benefits.

I've been praying a lot since our move about what God is calling me to do and what I should be pursuing with my time. I would love to have a creative outlet again and maybe made a little cash too. I've come up with a thousand ideas in my head (usually around 2am) but none of them really fit my life right now. I have dreamed of writing a book for a long time, and thought this might be the season to begin. But I don't have any idea what to write about.

God keeps reminding me that my work right now is raising my children. I have three little souls in my care. My days at home are not wasted guiding and loving them. Truthfully, this is really hard for me. I've been losing my temper a lot lately and feeling especially frustrated with one of my kids. It's hard, slow work this motherhood. It's long days and exhausted nights and cold coffee. I think, more than anything, I'm supposed to learn to serve God in the quiet places, pushing aside my selfishness to serve my children.

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