More Precious Than Diamonds

I've been thinking a lot this week about what I wrote in my last post-- about how I've given up my career and my own dreams for motherhood. I'm currently reading a book about motherhood as a spiritual discipline, and it's turning everything I thought about my calling on it's head.

I always saw myself as giving up my own calling from God to become a mother. Pressing pause, if you will, while I raise my children. That Master's degree and dream of writing were just hovering in the background, waiting to jump in again once my kids went to school. I've been realizing, though, that being a mother IS my calling right now. It's not some lesser version of my true purpose, but rather the highest calling I could have. I'm not the martyr sacrificing but rather the disciple following.

For me, this call to motherhood has felt rather like the creation of a diamond. The past seven years have been the most intense pressure I have ever experienced. I'm exhausted just thinking about the late nights, post-partum depression, pregnancies, births, discipline, etc. But under pressure, coal becomes a diamond. (I'm no scientist, so bear with my metaphor here.) As I've looked at my years of motherhood, it's felt rather like holding an uncut diamond. It looks like a rock- nothing important, meaningful or beautiful. It's dirty and seems common from the outside. And yet.

The process of turning that diamond into a jewel worthy of a ring is by cutting away the dirt and the rough edges to reveal the beauty inside. That seems like what God is doing within me right now. He's cutting away my own selfishness one little person's need at a time. He's slicing away giant pieces of myself I thought I really needed. But the result is breathtaking.

So all this to say, the diamond isn't coming through my own accomplishments, but through my daily sacrificial loving of my little people. Jesus has called me (and you!) to small acts of obedience-- daily taking up our cross to follow him. He did not promise fame and good fortune for his followers, but he did promise we would become more like Christ as we follow him.

This lesson is brand new for me, but one that is firmly rooting itself in my heart and mind. As I learn more I'll continue to write about it. And please, tell me how you are learning this too!