Friday, August 17, 2018

The Stress of Moving

In nine days, we leave Colorado for our new home in North Carolina. 

Can I be honest? I am totally, completely, monumentally stressed out. When I imagined our cross-country move, I saw a well-ordered plan. Everything would align perfectly! (I know, I'm laughing too.) Instead, it feels like every single thing has gone awry. Our house has not sold, so rather than packing, I vacuum 500 times a week for showings. Eli's school unexpectedly began in July, so he's missing over a month of first grade. Our moving plan has changed a couple of times, so we do not have a truck ready to ship our stuff yet. YOU GUYS I'M LOSING MY MIND.

The worst part, honestly, is that I am not handling this well. In my mind I am calm, cool, and collected. Instead, I am yelling at my kids to keep our house clean. I've gained weight and constantly have a stomach ache that's making me look 4 months pregnant. I'm not sleeping well, so I drag myself through each day on naps and caffeine. Every time I think about leaving our amazing community here, I want to curl up and cry.

Change is hard. It's hard to uproot your life and start fresh. For some reason, I imagined that if we were making the right choice, everything would be easy. I thought that by following God's leading for our family, the details would fall into place.

The truth is that God IS leading us. We feel so strongly this is the right choice. Ben will be home with our family more. We found a beautiful home with the large yard we've been dreaming of. We are moving to a darling little town. I find I get lost in the stressful details and miss the big picture of all that God is doing.

I'm holding on to 1 Peter 5:7 today, which says "Cast your anxiety on Him because He cares for you." My time with Jesus is grounding me in the midst of our storm. I cannot keep going without Jesus, and I need him so desperately right now. I find it's so easy to forget that. So as you read this today, will you pray for me? Pray I find my strength and calm in Jesus, not in what is going on around me.

And soon, so soon, we will be moved in to our new house, in a new chapter of our lives. It will be beautiful and amazing. We just have to get there first.

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