Saturday, June 9, 2012

Good Night, Dear Void

Sometimes I wonder about my life. I lead a small life - well, valuable, but small - and sometimes I wonder, do I do it because I like it, or because I haven't been brave? So much of what I see reminds me of something I read in a book, when shouldn't it be the other way around? I don't really want an answer. I just want to send this cosmic question out into the void. So good night, dear void.
- Kathleen Kelly, You've Got Mail

I feel so much like Kathleen sometimes. My life is valuable, but small. I spend my days at home. The only lives I really influence anymore are those of my husband and son. I used to dream such big dreams. And then life happened. I love my life, but sometimes I wonder if there is something greater. If my battle scars (aka stretch marks) and late nights are worth something. I know they are. I know it in a very deep place. It's just those shallow places that wonder what it would be like to have a career and money and maybe even a house. Someday we'll be there. Tonight, well, tonight I have two guys in my life who I get to love. One who loved me enough to marry me, baggage and all, and the other one who lights up with a smile when I am near him and relies on me for everything. Life is good.

He tends His flock like a shepherd: He gathers the lambs in His arms and carries them close to His heart; He gently leads those that have young. Isaiah 40:11

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