Alone Time

All day long I dream about being alone. You know, the big dreams. I wish I could use the bathroom alone. I wish I could run an errand alone. I wish I could eat dinner without sharing food off my plate. I wish I could have just a few minutes to myself.

And then the magic happens. Ben comes home, takes the big kids to their Wednesday night Awana club, and I tuck the baby in to bed. All my wishes are coming true!

The funny part, though, is that I don't pick up that book I've been dying to read all day or soak in a hot bath- I get on my phone. I scroll Instagram. I order things off Amazon. I text. All week I crave quality, soul-filling alone time, and when it rolls around all I do is fritter it away.

I've realized that I often use quick fix methods in an attempt to fill my deeper needs. I turn to my phone because I'm too tired to focus on anything. I eat sugar all day instead of preparing a meal or healthy snacks because it's faster. I find this especially comes to light when I get my coveted alone time. All of a sudden, I'm so overwhelmed by the million things I've dreamed of doing that I shut down and just waste my time.

I've been convicted lately that I need to be more intentional in my time management. I need to plan better, think ahead of time about what I'm using my days for. And when I do have alone time, I want to have a way to quickly know what I'm going to do instead of anxiously overthinking all my options.

I have a lot of thoughts about this swirling around in my head that I may write more about later on, but for now, here is my small solution: have options ready. It feels like a lot of work to clean my bathtub to take a hot bath, so I don't do it. If I don't have a book to read, I don't take the time to find one. If I don't have a couple favorite movies around my house, I Google "funny movies on Netflix" for 2 hours.

Last night was different. I finished watching an episode of The Great British Baking Show I'd been meaning to watch, then I read my library book in my recently cleaned bathtub. I had a relaxing evening with surprising little anxiety, all because I had a few things prepared or planned beforehand. I was surprised how much I was able to fit in to my evening and enjoy it, instead of my usual anxious Instagram scroll.

Going forward, my plan is to keep a few simple things ready. I'll clean my bathtub about once a month so I can use it when I need to. I'll keep a few to-be-read books on my shelf. I'll set out my copy of You've Got Mail ( my favorite movie!) so I know where it is if I want something to watch. I might even go buy some chocolate to stash away. Next time my unicorn of alone time shows up? I'll be ready.

What about you? How can you set yourself up for success when it comes to relaxation and rest?